Wake up, betch, the Kansas City Chiefs are returning to the Super Bowl for the third time. It’s a dangerous second chance for the Philadelphia Eagles to make history by stopping Andy Reid’s red machine. But you know what else is dangerous (for me, personally)?Men who work out six days a week running around in little white tights. After I picked my jaw up on the floor from drooling over the borderline male models stacked on the Birds’ roster, I decided it was only fair to give the Chiefs a double take as well. Red and yellow can be a tough Ronald McDonald color scheme to work with, but hey, some of these bros are doing their best to make it werk. SB59 is not technically a battle of the hotties, IMO, but in case you want to make it one anyway, here are the hottest players on the Chiefs to consider.

Hottest Players On The Chiefs

Isiah Pacheco

Relationship Status: Has a girlfriend

isiah pacheco

Starting this list with a man who recently wore braces is a bold choice, I know, but Isiah’s teeth are pearly white stunners now. That, plus being a million feet tall, ain’t a bad combination, and I’m sure his GF agrees.

Noah Gray

Relationship Status: Married

Noah Gray

Time to give a different tight end on the roster a little attention! The Duke grad has muscles for days and a head of hair that’s hard to be mad at even in that very silly headband.

Drue Tranquill

Relationship Status: Married

drue tanquill

I’m convinced Drue is a stunt double for actor Tommy Martinez (Laid, Good Trouble, NCIS: Los Angeles), which is obviously a huge compliment

Trent McDuffie

Relationship Status: Has a girlfriend

Trent McDuffie #22

Trent is an adorable short king by NFL standards (he’s a v demure 5’11”) but I bet nobody can keep baby in the corner (except, possibly, the Eagles on SB Sunday).

Keith Taylor Jr.

Relationship Status: Engaged

Cornerback Keith Taylor Jr. #39

Another cornerback the Chiefs stadium goes crazy for had to make the list. His gameday fits deserve a little shoutout, too.

Jaden Hicks

Relationship Status: Single

Jaden Hicks

Good news for those interested, Jaden is single! The bad news? Jaden isn’t known for his glowing personality on the field (though the Chiefs fans love his penality-earning plays and unsportsmanlike conduct). I will withhold judgment from his curl pattern though. That’s two thumbs up!

Aaaaaaand, none for Travis Kelce or Patrick Mahomes! What? Y’all need to learn to hail some of the other Chiefs every once in a while.