Petition To Have Commentator Laurie Hernandez Narrate My Life

Let’s talk about Laurie Hernandez, the Olymypic-gymnast-turned-commentator who has officially upgraded my Olympics-watching experience from “yay, gymnastics” to “get this woman a Pulitzer.” Seriously, someone needs to get her narrating my daily coffee runs because if she can make balance beam deductions sound interesting, she can make anything sound glamorous.

So, Laurie has been doing her thing as a commentator during the 2024 Paris Olympics, and let me tell you, she’s got the perfect balance (pun intended) of enthusiasm, knowledge, and sass. During the women’s gymnastics beam final —where Simone Biles and Suni Lee shockingly didn’t medal — Laurie was there to break down the drama and made it basically sound like your best friend spilling the tea over brunch.

So here’s my pitch: We need Laurie Hernandez to narrate all of our lives. Imagine waking up to her voice guiding you through your day, breaking down your morning routine like it’s an Olympic event. “And she sticks the landing on that eyeliner wing, folks! Truly a gold-medal performance.”

Laurie isn’t just killing it as a commentator — she’s setting a new standard. If you’re really passionate about what you do, odds are you’re probably going to get really good at it. And she taught us all this without even having to compete herself. Here’s everything to know about our fave Olympic commentator.

Who Is Laurie Hernandez?

Laurie competed in the 2016 Rio Olympics as a gymnast for Team USA — oh and did I mention that being 16 years old at the time, she was the youngest athlete on the entire team? Almost a decade later, she returns to the Olympics a retired gymnast and an Olympic commentator.

When a fan on X (formerly known as Twitter, but still just as chaotic) praised her commentary, Laurie replied with a mic-drop of a tweet, saying, “Thank you — pointing out deductions is not criticism of the athletes. should be a given that we think they’re brilliant for even being out there! it’s explaining why Andrade might’ve gotten 4th with a hit routine vs Yaqin winning silver even with a .5 deduction for almost falling.”

Okay, yes, give us that clarity! Laurie isn’t here to drag anyone; she’s just explaining how the sport works, which, let’s be real, most of us need because gymnastics scoring is like trying to understand the plot of Inception.

In addition to dropping knowledge bombs, Laurie’s been open about her love for her new role, and honestly, she’s thriving. She’s not just an Olympian; she’s a drama major who brings that flair to her commentary. In an Instagram post she wrote, “My gratitude is above and beyond for the chance to share the love, the heartbreaks, and the wins,” and I’m over here thinking, “Can she commentate on my breakups, too?”

Her voice is soothing yet exciting, like the love child of Bob Ross and Leslie Jones, and if that’s not a vibe you want guiding you through life’s ups and downs, I don’t know what is.

But let’s not forget, Laurie’s not just about the sunshine and rainbows. She knows how to shut down the haters, too. After an epic night of Team USA winning gold, she had the time to tweet out, “Also- everyone is entitled to their own opinion (obviously), but if the opinion related to me and is unkind, please don’t tag me in it (contrary to popular belief, I do see it).”

The audacity of people tagging her in unkind comments, though? Like, hello, if you can’t do a double pike on the beam, maybe keep your opinions to yourself (unless you’re me, of course). Laurie’s living her best life and doesn’t need that negativity.

“And They Were Roommates” Meaning

Girls, gays, and girls that are gays, this one’s for you. During the Olympics, fellow commentator Rich Learner brought up Laurie’s Olympic history with the one and only Simone Biles, casually mentioning how they were teammates and — cue dramatic pause — roommates in Rio. Then Laurie, with the perfect deadpan delivery, goes, “And they were roommates.”

If you’re not rolling on the floor laughing or at least snickering in a “IYKYK” way, let me explain. This is a reference to the iconic “and they were roommates” Vine that took over the internet in 2014. In the original clip, a woman is caught on camera talking into her phone, exclaiming, “And they were roommates!” The man who’s recording then repeats it to the camera. If you’re not laughing, you just had to be there okay? Ah, 2014. They were simpler times.

Anyone who knows anything about lesbian relationships knows that unfortunately many of them have to hide under the guise of being “just roommates.” Laurie’s little jab wasn’t just a callback to a beloved meme, it was also a wink to all the queer folks out there who see and appreciate her.

How do I know that’s not a reach? Laurie recently posted a video with her girlfriend of over three years where she’s saying, “I’m really glad we’re friends,” but like, it’s so obvious there’s enough sexual and romantic tension to power an entire Pride parade.

So yeah, when Laurie Hernandez says “and they were roommates,” she’s not just making a joke; she’s making a statement. She’s the queen of inside jokes and relatable content, and it’s another reason why we need her narrating our lives ASAP.