Hard launching your breakup on Instagram with an out-of-pocket prayer and an ABC press photo is wild. Matt James announced that he and Rachael Kirkconnell, his girlfriend of four years, officially broke up on January 16, 2025 with a super weird Instagram. At the time, the breakup felt incredibly random… and it still does. Since their controversial season of The Bachelor (more on that in a sec), this couple has become a foodie staple on TikTok and reels, depending on your age, and just generally really good-looking and cute together. Matt literally posted a TikTok of them eating their way through London just a few hours before the bizarre breakup post. Again, wild. Fans actually believed he was hacked.

Before we get into present day, let’s quickly rewind to 2021. Matt was the first Black Bachelor in the history of the franchise. His season also came in the midst of heightened conversations around racial issues in the US, which added a lot of attention and scrutiny to the show. In the finale, Matt chose Rachael, but didn’t propose. Shortly after the finale aired, Rachael came under fire when photos of her at an Old South plantation-themed party while in college surfaced. Matt decided to end the relationship at the time. The two got back together a few months later, and have been together ever since.

Ok, now back to the breakup. So, Matt posts his weird IG and turns off the comments. Rachael stayed totally silent, until January 28 when she sat down with Alex Cooper for an episode of Call Her Daddy. There’s a lot to unpack from this episode, so let’s get into Rachael’s biggest revelations about her breakup in her Call Her Daddy episode.

Rachael Kirkconnell’s Biggest Call Her Daddy Revelations About Matt James

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1. Alex starts asking questions about the beginning of their relationship: Rachael says she didn’t want to go on The Bachelor, her friends nominated her. She thought it was a prank when she got the call from production during covid lockdown. At first she said, “I’m not doing that, that sounds crazy,” but she decided to go along for the ride. Once they announced Matt was the Bachelor, she was into him and decided it would be fun.
2. During The Bachelor, Matt and Rachael had a conversation off camera during Fantasy Suites that they weren’t going to get engaged, so she knew it was coming at the end of the season.
3. Rachael says recently, she really thought they were on the same page in terms of getting married. They spoke about it and “the words were there,” both publicly and privately.
4. Rachael and Matt never lived together; Matt said he wanted to wait until marriage. Rachael says she was ok with that because he’s a very religious man. They were always together though, either at one of their apartments or when they traveled.
5. Alex asked if they talked about family and kids, and Rachael got choked up and said yes, they did and that’s been the hardest part of the breakup.
6. They talked about engagement rings, Matt said to her they should start looking together. She said that was huge for him, and it was a big green flag.
7. They talked about wedding food and where they would want the wedding.
8. Rachael says at the end of the day, “the words were there, but the actions weren’t.”
9. Rachael says there were times in their relationship when he felt “the weight of marriage really heavily on him.”
10. She says they really didn’t argue much during their relationship. The only time they ever did was when they didn’t see eye to eye on something; they’re both very stubborn people. However, Rachael said she felt like she was always the one apologizing. At the end of the relationship, Matt told her she has a hard time taking accountability for things. She’s still confused about that…
11. NOW THE BREAKUP QUESTIONS (49 minutes into the interview, mind you). Rachael met Matt in London on January 3rd and they were having an amazing time, then they went from London to Tokyo and “everything was great.”
12. So what happened? Rachael says it’s so hard to grasp. Everything was fine. The night before the breakup, they didn’t have an argument, but Rachael was feeling really overwhelmed. She was putting pressure on herself to find a good spot for dinner because it’d part of Matt’s career to do food reviews. She had just started her period and was having a rough few hours and asked Matt to help him find a restaurant. He said it didn’t matter, just to pick somewhere. She felt like it was a big deal, she picked a place and it wasn’t what she thought it would be. She was just feeling so overwhelmed and disappointed and started tearing up (two tears, she says) at dinner, they went home. They didn’t talk at all at dinner.
13. They got back to the hotel, Rachael felt something was off and asked Matt if he was mad at her. Matt was like, “no, it’s not that big of a deal,” but then got worried that Rachael was so emotional over a dinner. He started to spiral and was essentially like, “if you get emotional over little things like this, how will you react when there are big things that happen?” She felt like she was being punished for crying and was confused by his reaction. Then they went to bed.
14. She said the next day was totally normal, that morning they were in good moods. They were on the way to get some food and Rachael was showing Matt videos and “annoying him” and he snapped at her and she snapped back at him.
15. They went their separate ways and did their own thing for a little when they got to the food market, but Rachael didn’t think twice about it. When they got in the car, Rachael was quiet and Matt asked what was up. Rachael just said she felt like she was irritating him and was shutting down. This opened a “can of worms.”
16. Matt ended up laying out a lot of things he had been feeing: “At the end of the day there were qualities about [Rachael] that he worries about having in a wife.” He had this realization that he should want to propose to her at this point, and should be ready, but he’s not.
17. Rachael says that ya, he should know by now (after four years together). She asked if he wants to make this work and he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t see himself marrying her and he didn’t want to waste more of her time. He told her she’s “beautiful, smart, and funny” and will find another guy.
18. Alex asks about all of Matt’s comments on social media about them getting engaged and married, and Rachael says she does believe he loves her and wanted it to work, but “at the end of the day as much as he wanted it to work and as much as he loves me, I’m just not the person for him.”
19. Oh, and Matt ended things with Rachael right before her flight (she had to leave a day early for a baby shower). So… he broke up with her and then she went to the lobby and had to get on a plane and fly across the world.
20. THEN WE GET TO MATT’S BREAKUP INSTAGRAM. Alex says, “It’s going to go down in history as one of the weirdest breakup posts I’ve ever seen.” Mhm. So, Rachael is in her seat on the plane, and her phone won’t connect to plane wifi. As they’re about to takeoff, her phone starts to blow up. One of her best friends texted her saying she saw Matt’s post… and that’s how she found out. Then she lost service for the next 12 hours. Nightmare fuel.
21. Rachael said the caption is “very him” and didn’t surprise her. She was more surprised that he said it at all. She wished he would’ve given her a warning, because it’s how her friends and family found out.
22. Once she landed, she sent a long voice memo to all her friends. She didn’t text Matt at all.
23. She first heard from him 4-5 days after. She woke up at 1 am and saw he called her, so she called him back. He asked her how she was doing (dumb question). She confronted him about the post and said “that really sucked.” He admitted that he could’ve handled it a lot better and apologized.
24. Rachael doesn’t want people thinking he’s a bad guy.
25. Rachael says she doesn’t think she can get back together with him because when someone says the things that he said, she has to call it quits. She forgives him for the way he handled it all, but doesn’t think she can be with someone who disrespected her.
26. Rachael says he didn’t cheat and she doesn’t want people to think that.
27. This interview was almost two hours <3 you’re welcome.