Featured Image Credit: Netflix
Topics: Love Is (Not) Blind, Netflix
Ilana Frost
Season 6 of Love is Blind doesn’t premiere until Valentine’s Day, and I’m already stressed. Trust me: You will be too after you familiarize yourself with this *unique* bunch of singles. To be fair, the women mostly seem like gorgeous, accomplished, and completely well-intentioned queens. It’s the men that have me taking lots of deep breaths. (Alexa, play “I’m Just Ken.”)
I’m just saying… Since the Love is Blind job description is talking to someone through a wall and then getting engaged after a few conversations, you better be mega-qualified. I need to see star feminism, fully developed brains, and the healthiest of attachment styles on these resumes. That is not what I’m seeing. Not at all. No. Instead, it looks like we’re dealing with the child-in-man’s-body types, the classic narcissist, plus the wildly annoying refuses-to-talk-shit guy. As a single girlie, I’m feeling grateful that I’ll be watching this madness unfold from afar. Let’s examine some of the most alarming red flags in the Love is Blind season 6 cast, shall we?
Sigh. My man Vince is a 35-year-old former captain in the US Army turned attorney, but he’s also just a man. He can’t handle his own laundry. Apparently, it “has a tendency to pile up.” Funny how that happens. Best of luck to all the ladies talking to Vince!
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Matthew, 37, is a senior financial advisor, which is already a red flag if you ask me. He admits he’s usually “emotionally guarded” with partners and thinks the show is a good opportunity to deal with that flaw head-on. Umm, sure, there’s nothing like a camera and the eyes of America to loosen you up.
It’s a no for me. Austin says he’s a “bare bones” fellow who enjoys the simple things in life. When the 27-year-old isn’t busy doing his software sales job, he’s playing the guitar and going to music festivals. If you’ve ever had a man play a guitar at you… yeah, you get it. Immediate cringe.
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32-year-old store director Jamal has unfortunate music taste. He has a habit of bursting out into song — which already makes me nervous — but the real problem is his artist of choice: Chris Brown. Yeahhh, that doesn’t make me feel too confident about him being a feminist.
Jimmy, a 28-year-old in software sales, has not found success in relationships because he had too many expectations for people. He wanted them to check every single one of his boxes. Personally, I applaud women for having boxes for men, but men having boxes for women just feels wrong. #Equalitybutnotreally
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I’m offended by this one. Nolan, 31, is a management consultant, but I’m not sure he’s qualified to give out advice if he hates cats. Sure, sure, he’s scarred from one biting him on the head when he was younger or whatever. But I still say cats being a dealbreaker is a red flag.
There’s only one Drake — the one who recently had a little nudes-leaking incident. How is anyone supposed to take a Drake who’s not thee Drake seriously? Honestly, I feel for this 32-year-old video producer.
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Although Ariel, 32, gets points for being a “huge Adele Stan,” he’s lacking in another department: humor. The mortgage broker admits that his “joking around more often than not gets on a lot of people’s nerves.” Uh oh.
Jeramey, 32, is the resident intralogistics guy (not a clue what that means). I’m concerned because he expects his partner to be “outdoorsy” and “physically active,” but he says he snores “like a freight train.” How is she supposed to get her beauty rest?? My goodness.
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Ben has spent the last few years finding his “peace” by swing dancing and Muay Thai boxing. The 32-year-old cloud solutions architect wants someone who will “add value to [his] peace.” It’s giving… boring. Sorry.
Have you ever gone food shopping to find your next date? Nope, neither have I. But 28-year-old account executive Johnny apparently has looked for love in grocery stores. This feels a smidge desperate, I can’t lie.
At 26, Kenneth is a middle school principal, which is low-key kind of impressive. He’s a religious family boy looking for someone caring, compassionate, and intelligent. His smile is, like, adorable too. I have a soft spot for Kenneth, IDK.
Clay, a 31-year-old enterprise sales & entrepreneur guy, has concerns going into this process. Are they valid? Uhh, they’re questionable. He’s worried about someone changing him or his self-proclaimed “huge ego.” I’m trying to decide if it’s at least admirable to be self-aware and open about it? I’ll get back to you on that one.
One of my biggest icks is the man looking for a gym buddy. No thanks — happy to maintain my No Gym Membership status. Of course, Trevor, a 31-year-old project manager, wants someone who can “keep up with his physical fitness routine.” Bye. Not to mention, he thinks it’s a red flag if a woman “has no goals.” This feels like a lot of demands. I’m tired.
Software sales expert Deion, 27, does not appreciate people who “talk down or gossip about others.” Listen, I’m just a girl. Gossip is part of our culture. It’s healthy in doses. He also wants women to laugh at his “corny” jokes. Hmmmm.
In this day and age, Sarah Ann? I’m skeptical. I find it hard to believe that the 30-year-old customer support manager has never once had the urge for a little swipe-and-giggle session with friends or a touch of validation late at night. Something’s not quite right here.
Danielle, who is 30 and in corporate communications, wants to find herself a “manly man” who exudes “masculine energy.” I get it, Danielle, I really do… but that doesn’t mean I condone it. Personally, I’m all about feminine qualities in men these days. Can they listen? Can they respect? Can they clean?
Our girl Brittany, a 25-year-old senior client partner, says she’s still single because she won’t compromise on her “strong Christian morals.” While this is not necessarily a red flag, it does give me pause. Which ones are we talking about?
Alejandra is a 28-year-old financial consultant and self-described “alpha woman.” Go off, queen. Buttt she’s looking for an alpha male who’s a “natural born leader.” I like her, and I don’t want her to end up with someone too controlling!
Honestly, 33-year-old real estate broker Amber “AD” Desiree seems like a badass. She’s looking for someone smart and empathetic, and she won’t sacrifice her values for a relationship. Period. The only area of concern is that she can be “a bit pushy” sometimes.
Okay, okay, this is not really a red flag. More like a challenge for Mackenzie. The 25-year-old makeup artist is picky about height since she’s a six-foot-tall goddess. What if the man on the other side of the wall is five feet? Praying for you, Mackenzie.
At 34, PR director Amy C has had one long-term relationship. She has a hard time stepping out of her comfort zone and getting vulnerable. Real. Perhaps a charming gentleman on the other side of the wall will remove the wall both physically and metaphorically. Awww.
Danette honestly seems really cool. The 33-year-old flight attendant describes herself as “crazy” and “adventurous.” However, she has a dream of tearing her house down and putting it back together to “make it real cute.” Her husband is expected to assist. IDK, this seems like a lot of work…
Sunni, a 34-year-old business analyst, is ready to get down to business. She’s looking to be the “lead” in her romantic story and wants a “supportive” man who’s there to make her feel “special.” A 50-50 romance is just not her vibe, and I applaud this red flag. It’s called women’s empowerment, baby!
Laura has a habit of “putting people in a box.” When it comes to potential partners, the 34-year-old account director tends to think she knows “everything about them by the way that they look.” Laura, girl, this seems like a bold experiment if looks are No. 1 on your list of priorities.
Jessica is a 29-year-old executive assistant who’s “never really given someone the chance to fully know [her].” I sincerely hope she’s ready to open up in the pods because, um, there’s not much else to do!
Chelsea, 31, is an expert traveler — she’s literally a flight attendant (and event planner). Unsurprisingly, she’s looking for a travel buddy to come along on her adventures. The bad news for him? He’ll have to drive because that’s not her strong suit.
If you’re on a date with 28-year-old e-commerce specialist Amy, you better be prepared to snap some quality pics. She’s seeking an Instagram photographer who’s gonna contribute to that fire feed. Living in the moment? Possibly not the priority here.
Amber, a 31-year-old in medical device sales, has daily FaceTimes with her tight-knit fam. Needless to say, her partner will be getting very, very close with the in-laws. As Taylor Swift once asked, “Are you ready for it?”
Oh, girl. Ashley usually goes for the “pretty boy player” who doesn’t treat her right. Thankfully, the 32-year-old nurse practitioner seems to be looking for a guy who’s actually worthy of her now. Manifesting Ashley’s type does a 180 ASAP.