The allure of Tell Me Lies is that every character fucks up in a major way. It’s a show about the darkest corners of the human psyche, and what happens when a group of deeply flawed people bring out the absolute worst in one another. Whether they’ve cheated, betrayed their best friends, told devastating lies, remained loyal to evil sociopaths, taken advantage of vulnerable teens, or even caused someone’s death, they’re all undeniably on the villain spectrum. Do I also exist somewhere on that spectrum for gleefully eating it all up? Probably, but we can discuss that later.

That said, not all mess is created equal! While these people share a proclivity for abhorrent decisions, there are varying degrees of wrongdoing. Some of them deserve to be locked away and never see the light of day again (*cough* Stephen, Marianne, and Oliver), but others may be salvageable with a stern lecture, a healthy period of self-reflection, and maybe a life coach. As a self-appointed expert in Tell Me Lies and pop psychology, I’ve taken it upon myself to sort through the chaos and rank the Baird College crew from most villainous to most redeemable.

The Tell Me Lies Characters: A Villain Ranking

1. Stephen

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Everyone who’s ever watched the show would probably agree he’s our No. 1 villain of this remarkably unwell crew. But Stephen’s really in a different category entirely, because he’s a legit sociopath. He fundamentally doesn’t grasp the concepts of empathy, love, or basic decency, and he’s motivated solely by twisted games and causing harm to others, particularly Lucy. As many have expressed via passionate TikToks, the only acceptable ending to the series would involve this man experiencing excruciating suffering, and ideally, passing away. I said what I said.

2. Oliver & Marianne (A Tie)

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LOCK THEM UP. The only appropriate place for these two is jail. Marianne is no better than her manipulative pedophile husband, actively covering up his tracks and making teenage girls go fucking insane. I need some horrible karma to come their way and swiftly.

3. Evan

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Apologies to the Evan fans out there (if that’s even a thing), but I cannot stand this man. Few things make my blood boil more than creepy, possessive misogynists masquerading as “the nice guy.” Sure, he might look like an angel next to his sick-in-the-head bestie, Stephen, but let’s not forget Evan’s long list of unforgivable transgressions: he cheated on Bree with her BFF and lied about it, has no issue leading on Molly whenever he pleases, continues to stick by Stephen, and seems weirdly obsessed with the idea of Bree, not Bree herself.

4. Lucy

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I can already hear the, “Why isn’t she No. 2 or tied with Stephen?” And to that critique I say: Let’s examine this deeply troubled girl’s intentions. Her worst offenses thus far are hooking up with Evan and co-opting Pippa’s assault experience. I’m aware these are very bad! When she hooked up with Evan, she was completely wasted and devastated after Stephen ditched for Diana. And she (misguidedly) co-opted Pippa’s trauma in an attempt to get some justice for the girls Chris did hurt. While both of these choices were wildly wrong and hurtful to her friends, I’m not convinced they came from a malicious place. Girlie desperately needs to work on her decision-making skills.

5. Pippa & Bree (A Tie)

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Sure, these gals have dipped their toes into the messy world of affairs — Pippa cheating on her grieving boyfriend and Bree low-key falling in love with him behind Pippa’s back. However, I’m also giving them trauma passes. Bree’s still reeling from the Oliver and Marianne of it all, and Pippa’s grappling with both her assault and Drew’s death. They’ve both been through hell and back at this point, and that context feels important.

6. Diana

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Yes, Diana is having a secret affair with Pippa, whose boyfriend just lost his brother in an extremely traumatic way, and yes, she’s been a bitch to Lucy in the past. But you know what? She is also my hero and inspiration for her Machiavellian execution of that breakup and her poetic words to Stephen in season 3, episode 4: “Honestly, Stephen, I am so excited to abort your baby. It’s going to be the highlight of my year. I can’t wait.” I actually got chills.

7. Wrigley

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“But he’s having an affair!” Dare I say… I literally do not give a fuck? He just *accidentally* got his little brother killed, and Pippa’s fully in love with someone else, so he gets a pass when it comes to the Bree situation. If the boundaries of fiction didn’t exist, I would waltz onto the Baird College campus myself and whisk this golden retriever of a man far, far away from this evil circle. (Okay, fine, I’ll grant him visitations with Bree because I think they might be soulmates.) Protect Wrigley at all costs.