Do You Know The Muffin Man? Meet The Olympian Who Stole Our Hearts And Our Pastries

In case you’ve been living in a BRAT-fuelled hangover without screens, the Olympics are happening!! Yay, people celebrating unbelievable feats of human strength while I get winded walking up the stairs. But despite world records being broken, gymnastics girlies flipping about, and celebs turning up in their finest, the world has its eye on only one thing: the muffins. Or more specifically, the Muffin Man, a Shrek character brought to life by a Norwegian swimmer. By this point, you’re probably thinking that last night’s booze hasn’t left your system or checking your water bottle for traces, but I’m for real, girl. We’ve got to talk about a food critic to rival the one in Ratatouille and his never-ending love for chocolate muffins.

Who Is The Olympic Muffin Man?

Before going viral, Henrik Christiansen was just a 27-year-old Norwegian swimmer at the Olympics, so not that special, you could say. But that all changed when he uploaded a TikTok reviewing the meals at the Olympic Village. Among the many items he tried was a simple chocolate muffin with a chocolate ganache centre, one of over 2,000 pastries available for the competitors. (Sucks to be French right now as he ignores all the croissants and pain suisse, lol.) Henrik boasts of burning over 7,000 calories a day while training. Like, same, whenever my friend claims we can just walk somewhere. Henrik, call me if you’ve ever watched Pride and Prejudice on your period and demolished four pizzas from Dominos, then we can talk.

You can see the moment that the taste of this seemingly ordinary muffin hits, and Henrik’s eyes widen with joy as he holds up an ‘okay’ hand signal. “11/10,” he wrote on the screen. “Insane.” In that moment, a love affair began, one that would change the face of the entire Olympic Village, and all of the TikToks coming out of it.

Why is the “Muffin Man” going viral?

Henrik made multiple subsequent TikToks, including using the popular “zip line” sound, sneaking muffins into his cardboard-laden room, and a chocolate-smudged nose. The result was that contestants flocked to try this elusive muffin, and they became harder to get than Era’s Tour tickets. Swimmers Enkhkhuslen Batbayar, Freya Anderson, and Jasmine Schofield all rushed to try the mysterious muffin (are we sure it doesn’t have crack in it??).

American track-and-field athlete Gabby Thomas stepped up to the plate (literally heehee) and rated the muffin as well. “This is the best chocolate muffin I’ve ever had,” she said, chewing. “It tastes like a cupcake, it’s so moist. This is gonna be a problem.” She rated the muffin a 9.8 out of 10, which makes me think Henrik is easier to please (good news for me). She did explain the difference by stating that she minused points for how difficult it was to obtain.

Where Can I Find The Olympian Village Muffin?

A French catering company called Coup de Pates stepped forward to take credit in a LinkedIn post. The company says its “Maxi Muffin with Intense Chocolate” is available for purchase online, but only by food service professionals. I’ll believe it when I try it, so feel free to send over some complimentary products! For all of us plebs who can’t go to the Olympic Village, users have started posting home recipes for the mysterious muffins or comparison products. Muffin Fever started in the Olympic Village and has spread to the rest of the world like a classic STD.

I don’t know if Henrik is even still competing in the Olympics or has given it all up to become a muffinfluencer (accidentally got naughty there, apologies to Henrik and his mom).

The Best “Muffin Man” TikToks

Might be the best use of this sound I have seen yet, and there was some stiff competition. Also, why else would you go to the Olympics? Just for Olympic Village Tinder and muffins, duh.

Bringing him over to your side? Sir, be more veiled in your sexual innuendos please, children are watching!! Be like me and enjoy both cookies and muffins 😉

A confidential source has confirmed that you can trade your gold medal for one of the remaining muffins, silver will get you half, and bronze will get you nothing, get out of here, slacker!!!! You can lick crumbs off the ground.

Hi, this is your god, Taylor Alison Swift, I am now accepting chocolate muffins in exchange for you winning the Olympics!!! Girlies gotta eat, even omnipotent ones. Rumor has it her private jet is on the way to Paris just for the muffin.

This would literally be me, though. Where the fuck are the muffins??? Can someone bring me one?? It’s not even funny anymore.

Men think they can cheat on baked goods, think again. That muffin is gonna “no body, no crime” your ass and then get devoured by someone else. I don’t know if I’m hungry or horny right now.