Sorry: Laurie’s ‘White Lotus’ Finale Monologue Is Forced And Disappointing

So, Twitter has been gaslighting me for the last 12 plus hours. There is NO way everyone and their mother ate up that ridiculous Carrie Coon monologue in the season 3 finale of The White Lotus. Did we all watch the same show? As a female with friends (like three, but still), I’m seething over the bazillion tweets about how this moment was a ~beautiful commentary on the complexities of female friendship~. I dare say the internet desperately needs a refresher on the differences between “complex female friendship” and “toxic female friendship,” because what the actual fuck? If the White Lotus blondie trio reminds you of your current friendships, please cut those bitches off immediately. I don’t know what Laurie 2.0 was talking about, but no, “time” does not inherently make your soul-sucking friendships worthwhile! And the Laurie I know and love from earlier episodes would never say such a thing. Let’s discuss this whack ass White Lotus finale Laurie monologue. I need to rant.

The White Lotus Season 3 Carrie Coon Monologue

In every other episode this season, Laurie’s a multi-dimensional, depressed bad bitch who’s always prepared to call out her friends’ bullshit. But in the finale, she’s suddenly… a simple-minded preacher who magically forgives all of their glaring flaws and transgressions? “I have no belief system,” she laments to her frenemies. “I mean, work was my religion for forever, but I definitely lost my belief there. And then, I tried love, and that was just a painful religion … Being a mother, that didn’t save me either.”

Laurie says she had an “epiphany” (out of the blue), somehow coming to the conclusion: “I don’t need religion or God to give my life meaning, because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. We’re going through it apart, but we’re still together.” She adds, “I look at you guys and it feels meaningful.” Where is this even coming from? It’s not like she’s been searching for God all season. It’s not like the trio just had some kind of positively transformative moment together that would inspire this kind of speech.

Mind you: The one and only positive experience these women had together in Thailand was when they got wasted and partied with the Russians. And that obviously didn’t end well. The rest of their vacation, they were busy rooting for each other’s downfall, talking shit about each other, betraying each other, insulting each other, and lying to each other. It doesn’t take a therapist to see that this friend group is poison through and through (much like the suicide tree fruit), and they should probably take a break from each other and go heal.

Image Credit: Max

And Laurie (Episodes 1-7 Version) would never say this shit! When did her personality and way of speaking change? Before this moment, her dialogue never sounded like slam poetry. She used to be dry, dark, and grounded. That’s why I liked her! If anything, her character’s storyline and behavior seemed to be leading up to a psychotic break or violent outburst in the finale (at least that’s what I was hoping for) — not sentimental musings about Kate and Jaclyn giving her life meaning. This messy journey needed a real, explosive, messy ending. I feel like my girlies were just ditched at the end.

I’m disappointed. The dynamic between these characters was so rich, but this forced, inauthentic monologue was a lazy way to wrap up their story. They deserved more.