All The Hotties From ‘Love Undercover’ Who Make Us Want To Care About Soccer

While The Lacheys are out here torturing innocent singles with their harrowing six-season experiment Love Is Blind, the geniuses at Peacock have a bit of a different approach. The newest reality dating show starts off with an IRL swipe-right moment where a handful of hopeful single women in search of love select guys for a date based on a simple profile. What the women don’t know is there’s one intentionally misleading piece of information planted in every guy’s bio. While they claim to be everyday men working as contractors or restaurant managers, they’re actually celebrity football stars (like, the rest of the world’s football, not American football) who are tired of being pre-judged for their money and fame.

These superstar athletes have come to the one place on earth where they’re not household names (which is in and of itself a hilarious roast of America), leveling the playing field on both ends. The girls don’t get to select by net worth but the guys are also humbled without being able to fall back on their accolades to seal the deal, which will hopefully create genuine matches. I mean Perfect Match seems fun and all, but being tricked into falling in love with a millionaire? Where do I sign up?? At this point, I assume you already have the show added to your queue, so here’s a full breakdown of the Love Undercover cast you can use a cheat sheet.

The Love Undercover cast

Lloyd Jones (27)

Lloyd is the youngest and prettiest boy of the bunch who unsurprisingly wins the majority of date offers from the women from the very beginning because on this show love has no job, but the women certainly aren’t blind. Lloyd is an English defensive soccer player who’s been playing professionally since he was 17 for Liverpool’s junior squad, League Two Northhampton, and his recent major promotion to Charlton Athletic in League One. His most recent ex is TOWIE fireball Megan McKenna but Lloyd says his type is Beyoncé. No pressure, ladies.

Sebastián Fassi (29)

Sebastián is a football nepo baby considering his father is one of the most successful football team owners and managers in Argentina, but he went on to make a name for himself leaving Pachua to consistently make saves as a goalie in Costa Rica, Ecuador, and Mexico. He’s now the goalie for Spain’s Primera Division and appears to own a piece of priceless jewelry for every ball stopped.

Marco Fabián (33)

Explaining who Marco is would be like explaining water is wet to the vast majority of Latin America and literally anyone who cares about soccer but considering I was a part of the former group until I saw this show, I’ll do it anyway. Marco is a Mexican midfielder who helped win his home country a gold medal in the 2012 Summer Olympics. He started off playing for the Philadelphia Union and currently reps Ontario’s Empire Strykers.

Ryan Babel (36)

The Dutch superstar has a lot of trouble dressing like a normie around the girls when in real life he’s known to be a fashion killer who’s graced the cover of magazines across Europe. Ryan also had trouble explaining to one of his dates he’s from the Netherlands and not France because flags are hard! Ryan had a wildly successful football career as a Premier League striker, leading the Netherlands to championships since 2005 including two World Cups. Since retiring, Ryan stacked his resume with a cryptocurrency company, a music business, and a little side hustle as a real estate developer on huge projects such as the Burj Khalifa.

Jamie O’Hara (36)

Of all the male contenders, Jamie takes the biggest ego hit by losing his bragging rights while pretending to be a lowly ad salesman without his collection of Rolexes. Jamie has retired from his remarkable run through England’s Premier League from Tottenham to Portsmouth through his 20s and now continues his love of the game as a team manager and sports broadcaster. He also prematurely retired from love when he got caught in the tabloids cheating on his wife. The playboy is finally ready to settle down even if he’s more tempted to play with fire than most on the show.